Bring baaaack Suuuuuuuummmmeerr

Having watched Frozen twice in the last two weeks with Clara, I feel like Olaf and I are kindred spirits in someways. (meeting Kristoff and Sven)  "uh huh, and whos the funky looking donkey over there? That's sven.  Uuuuh huh, and whos the reindeer? (bewlidered) That's sven"

Favorite line in the movie.  

Aaaannnnnyway.  I am sitting in bed with a headcold (So much for my magical elderberry syrup) so I have some extra time I thought I'd write to the famdamily. 

Today was ward conference and the four oldest had to sit on the bench themselves (Since Clara and I were home).  Aubrie said they got some embarrassing glances from the stake presidency since they were sitting in the 2nd row.  Good times. 

Aubrie has been playing indoor soccer (AWESOME facilities) and they get killed every week.  It's been pretty good.  Its all of their first time playing indoor and I'm sure its a little harder to get used to the really fast pace.  Either way, great conditioning and its still been a lot of fun.  This is what I think she'd say about school--she likes their school better than any other one, and she really likes her friends.  She doesn't love Math (sad) and loved their Language Arts unit they did for the last 6 weeks.  Lots of poetry writing.  Her class and the way they respect each other and interact is off the charts.  They had a visitor at the school that travels training Waldorf schools and he was in the class and she came home and said he told them they were the best class he's seen in the country (behaviorally). We feel really grateful for that especially in the harder middle school years. She loves choir so much and doesn't love violin.   

Robbie is playing in the Jr Jazz league and also in the feeder Cottonwood High school league both with the same team coached by our neighbor Bart (he played at Adams state, mom) and Ryan.  He is learning a ton because he had to play a grade up to play with Bart and so he's the smaller kid on the team.  Baseball already started (they practice in an old warehouse) and will take off in March once basketball ends.  He got his report card and although he's doing pretty good grade wise, all his teachers say "RObbie needs to channel his energy in appropriate ways.  He talks when he should be listening too much", etc.  Sounds about right. His best buddy Eliot (Who I really do love) isn't too keen on school either. 

Hallie is in that moving from childhood to older kid phase.  She reminds me so much of a young Syd in her personality.  She's very happy/positive and kind and sensitive.  SHe CANNOT be rushed.  Ever. She lives out the books "if you give a mouse a cookie" in her daily life.  She is so distractable. When she sits down to work on something she does it SO well and it takes a long time and she doesn't like to be interrupted to switch to something else.  I love how aware she is of other people. 

Blake is Mr. Social.  On Friday Aubrie had a small party at our house with some friends from school.  I kept trying to play cards with Blake and Hallie and Blake would run off to go do what the big kids were doing. At Robbie's games he runs out to "shoot hoops" at every timeout.  He cries if he can't ski with Rob and Eliot.  His teacher at school says he is always sneaking toys to school, but she sometimes lets it go because he is always organizing games for everyone with them.  He is such a fun loving boy.  This last week he has starting sleeping with a zebra print face mask on--no idea where he got it--and the first morning he woke up and tole me"AHHHH, that was AWESOME! I slept SOOOO good".  I took a picture of him in their sprawled out with only pj bottoms on and his zebra print face mask.  I will definitely find a good use for that picture down the road. 

Clarabelle is my buddy.  She is definitely spoiled--especially by Hallie.  As soon as I say "Clara, do you want to go potty in.....NO (she interrupts every time)"  We are hopign things change by March when she turns 3 :)   She is with me at the school alot helping with the kids classes.  She still is in her crib all though she fell out the other day so maybe its time to transition.  She is starting to care a lot about doing things herself.  She is pretty good about playing by herself after Blake goes to school since she is not napping anymore.  I wish I could freeze time with her.  I LOVE watching and listening to her so much.  She has such fun facial expressions.  

Ryan is super busy at Instructure and feels a little more settled there.  Bishopric is good and sometimes pretty time consuming.  I am glad for the extra time he has with the youth since Aubrie is in there now. He is starting to run more since he has a half marathon to run in May. 

Someone is here I better run! 

Love you all!

Amber

Baby blues

The other night I drove Hallie to Walmart to get her some yarn to make a neck cozy for her friends birthday and on the way home she said "mom, tell me what happened, why are you so sad?" Which was a little random to me.  I asked her why she thinks I am sad and she said my face looks like it.  It made me feel bad.  I told her I assumed it was a little bit of winter blues, mixed with never being able to do anything by myself or just do anything that I would really like to do (just something that I would choose to do with friends or with Ryan. I feel like all my time revolves around helping my family with whatever they have going on or need done or need to prepare for or be driven to) and then where I really got confusing was telling her about hormones after pregnancy.  She must really be hitting that "nine year" switch from childhood to more of a reality around her.  She worries more than she needs to and asks so many questions about fairness and rightness, etc.  She is such a little lady.

I love life, I really do.  There are so many things to learn about and things to try and things to laugh at and understand.  But I don't know why I can't seem to enjoy it lately or have motivation to do much more than I really need to.  I don't want it to be like that.  It is hard to change though.  Especially when I have felt so yucky physically. I wish I could just snap my fingers.  I feel like it so easily spirals too, by the time I am in bed at night, everything is wrong and it is too overwhelming.

I just want to remember that some times of life are not really that fun but we still have to wake up and do the best we can.

Granny Rae

Granny Rae's health has been getting slowly worse and we are not sure how much longer she will live. Erika came up last weekend to spend some time with her and we got to celebrate Mariam's birthday and have a date night at Nuan's Thai Kitchen, games at my work, and we also visited Uncle Mike in the hospital.

 

 

 

We also had a really fun visit with Cassie Lavalliere, our really good friend who was here visiting from New Hampshire.  It was great to catch up with her. We really miss our friends in New Hampshire!

 

It was really fun to hang out with Jay, Mariam, Andrew, and Erika. We also had a great visit and family home evening with Granny Rae on Monday night. She was doing really well so it was fun to visit with her while she was so alert.

 

 

We also are getting really sick of shoveling snow. It snowed another 10 inches the other day. This winter has been pretty crazy!  At least it keeps the kids busy and working.

 

Aubrie has also been playing indoor soccer which has been really fun to watch. We are also busy running Robbie back-and-forth to baseball and basketball practices. It has been a very busy winter.

 

 

With all the snow we have been doing a lot of skiing, too. Brighton Ski Resort is our "winter beach".  :)

 

 

 

Bedtime stories with a freshly-bathed Clara at the end of a long day is about as good as it gets.  

 

There is sunshine...outside...today.  It has been so many weeks since we've seen the sun.  We went on a walk this morning to celebrate.  Clara is finally figuring out the balance bike--she is still slow.  Three houses down she stops and looks up, "I wish I would've brought my gloves." (Looks at Blake)  Blake is always (usually) good to her and he offered to go get them if we waited "right here".  As soon as he turns to leave on his scooter, Clara climbs off her bike and turns to me, "so.....mom...how are you?  (and she looks at me with that cutest Clara look) um...did you have good dreams last night? about skiing maybe?".

Honestly, I was trying so hard to keep a straight face.  Where does she come up with these things.  She was totally just trying to chat it up while we waited for Blake to come back.  And I'm guessing she was racking her brain for things that she hears other people say.

Ryan and I feel absolutely clueless this weekend at how to parent.

Robbie is so active and so adventurous and always wanting to do things, anything, he can't sit still. and right now he is playing on two basketball teams and already started baseball practices twice a week.  That seems like a lot.  But as soon as he's home from one things he's asking to play with Spencer or Caleb or wanting to get on the Xbox. It's just constant.  It drives me nuts.  I'm like---go sit.  Just do nothing.  Internalize the last 5 hours of playing you just did.

I told him last Sunday that he had a talk in Primary--not unusually he didn't do anything and this morning, I was feeling pretty sick and sore and so tired, Ryan is always gone in the morning to meetings, Aubrie woke up with bad stomach pains (She just started her period for the first time) and Hallie had a rash all over her body.  And Robbie needed to write a talk.  And get everyone ready.  and I wanted to go back to bed.

So, I tried to help him, he's not interested at all in preparing one and was being so whiny and I was annoyed.  I handed him Abraham 3 to read during church and wrote down on a paper "Robbie, think of a few questions about the premortal world and in answering those questions, you'll write your talk--here's an example: .......blah blah blah" and he looked at it and said "can I just read what you wrote here and that be my talk?" I just stared at him -- are you kidding me? Did you read what I wrote? No I am not going to write your talk for you.  I figured I'd let him figure it out.
  He was mad, threw the paper and pen on the bench and when Sister Summerhays asked him to come up for his talk he said he didn't have a talk to give.

Ryan was watching him from the hall and he came to me and told me what had happened I was so mad and sad at Robbie.  I asked Sister Summerhays after church if we could talk to him ourselves and then have him come over to apologize and would she be willing to explain to him what happens on their end when kids are unprepared for what they have been assigned to do.

We did talk to him and told him we were disappointed.  It ended up being a great conversation about how we DO have really high expectataions for him in EVERYTHING he does and that we don't expect him to be perfect but we do expect him to always try his hardest when he is responsible or a part of something.  School, his sports teams, his chores, church assignments, being a good brother, etc, etc. We did go together over to Sister Summerhays house and she talked to him about how important the things he thinks of and has a testimony of are to the other kids in Primary and that they look up to him too as an example.  And she asked him if he would be wiling to give it another go and he apologized too.  She is SUCH a wonderful leader to the kids.  She is exceptional and I feel so grateful they are in the Primary with her.

Monday I had a doctor appointment for the first time to check out things with the baby and to see when he/she was actually due.  As soon as Dr. Rappleye checked me he said "you are measuring about 8 weeks..." which was very strange since I KNEW I was definitely further along than that.  We talked about when I was probably due and how far along I probably was (I wasn't totally sure) and then he went and got the ultrasound machine and listened around but couldn't find anything definite.  I thought I was probably closer to 11-12 weeks.   So, he said things were looking kind of like it was a bad pregnancy and sent me back to the ultrasound tech who has a better machine.  She tried both regular ultrasound and then with a wand into the uterus and said the exact same thing as the doctor--the fetus looked like it was folding into itself and that it had stopped developing around 7.5-8 weeks.

He told me I had three choices, 1-wait, 2-take pills to start labor, or 3- schedule a D&C at the hospital.  He said, since I was further along it might alot like labor and told me it would be a good idea to put what I passed into a jar to bring in and he'd make sure that it had all come out.  And also if I hadn't miscarried in a week he wanted to see me so we could do something else.  I had BLake and Clara with me and was kind of shell shocked a little.  I took them to McD's for a hamburger and dropped BLake off at school and then I jsut started crying. I couldn't get a hold of Ryan and I drove home and Clara just sat there hugging me very worried because I couldn't stop crying.  I finally got a hold of Ryan and he came home and we kjust sat on the couch and talked through things. I called mom and talked to her about what it was like and what would be best in this case.  I had determined NOT to have a D&C until I talked to mom and felt better about it and not as scared about doing that route.  I ended up going on Wednesday morning at 5:30 AM and during the D&C there was a complication where they tore the uterus putting the instrument in which I guess is rare but more likely with someone that has had multiple pregnancies.  So, they had to go through my stomach and stitch it up.  In doing that I guess they put air to expand that area to work there and the recovery has been kind of miserable/painful.  The stitches are so sore but worst of all has been all the trapped air/gas from my lower abdomen all the way up to my shoulder.  It has been really painful, hard to sit or lay down which means not great sleep for the last 4 days.  It actually is least painful when I am walking.   Anyway, it's gotten better everyday and the bleeding has slowed down, so hopefully in another week I'll be feeling pretty good.  I am surprised how quickly the pregnancy nausea went away.  Pretty much the next day that was gone.  I can't say I am sad at all about that.  I still feel alot of confusion and try not to think/dwell on how SURE we were that we should be pregnant and then had a miscarriage almost all the way through the first trimester.  But I know it will make sense and I am trying to just not worry about anything regarding that right now.

Saturday night was a fun family night once we got everyone home from skiing etc.  Aubrie's friend Kennedi came over for the night and we got pizzas and all ate and then played Nerts for a long time (Kennedi's family are huge Nerts players too).  When we all gathered for prayers in an uncommonly good mood I said "let's hear everyone's favorite part of the day and sad part of the day before we pray".  A few of the kids went and when it was Clara's turn she said in her cutest voice that we all love, "My favorite part of the day was when dad took me skiing--ya know on the jumphill and its where the big sky touches the ground (such an accurate description of skiing on a mountain) and then the next day Blake cut my hair, and that was my saddest part. "  Neither of which happened anytime recently which made it all the cuter.  We were all just laughing and eating her up and she was being so serious about the whole thing.

Their was no school on Friday or MOnday and so we had planned to go skiing for the day with Boyntons (Jourdan and kids) and  then I had a miscarriage on Wednesday and still felt not great so I didn't want to go sit up there for a day.  I told the kids if we made a plan I'd let them go up alone as a foursome.  In the end Jourdan drove Hallie and Blake and Elliott and Milo took the bus with Aubrie and Robbie so they could play cards.  Jourdan was teaching her two youngest to ski so the other kids all split up to ski elsewhere.  I had told the kids they HAD to get on the 2:29 bus and I'd pick them up at 3:18 so that Robbie could get to basketball at 3:30.  Later Jourdan texted me and said that all the kids had missed the bus according to the boys and that she would be driving them down.  I texted Robbie's coach and told him he wasn't going to make it to practice and then 30 minutes later Journdan called and said I have everyone except Hallie and Aubrie we can't find them.  I was kind of surprised because of all the kids they are the two most responsible.  She said that Aubrie's friend from school had seen her getting on a ski lift about 15 minutes ago (Which ended up being very inaccurate).  They waited, searched, etc for 1.5 hours and by that time I was in a bit of a panic calling First Aid station and the SPorts desk trying to see if anyone had seen them.  Right then I got a call from a random number which turned out to be a sobbing Aubrie and Hallie who had finally got up the guts to ask someone for their phone to call me beacuase they'd actually DONE WHAT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO and took the 2:29 bus down and had been waiting at the bus stop for me to pick them up for close to 2 hours by that point.  It was one of my low moments of parenthood.  I felt horrible.

IT turned out they HAD seen RObbie and Milo and told them--we have to hurry we have 9 minutes to catch the bus and Hallie was crying because she thought she was supposed to go with Jourdan and so RObbie left to go find Jourdan to tell her that they were leaving on the bus which resulted in them never making it to the bus.  But Aubrie and Hallie didn't know that was happening and HAllie told me she sat there on the bus praying that somehow Robbie would make it on the bus on time or get on a bus soon after so that they wouldn't miss each other.  Poor girls.  They were pretty distraught by the time I picked them up.  We had a long talk and in the end I think it all was understood and all was forgiven and there still is a good chance they'll take the bus again (as long as we have a much more firm plan in place:)).

Waiting to head to the OR for a D&C :(

Fresh Utah Powder

We have had a ton of snow over the past three weeks. Despite lots of back-breaking snow shoveling, we have taken full advantage with a lot of sledding, backyard igloo-making, and lots of skiing. 

 

 

 

View from the top of "Snake Express".

 

Heading down from "Snake Express" at Brighton.

 

Big Cottonwood Canyon is so pretty after a snowstorm. As Amber put it, "it's becoming OUR canyon."

 

Never-ending snow shoveling. Over and over with subpar shovels.

 

The kids made quite the igloo in the backyard!

 

We had a Star Wars movie marathon during the holiday break. It was fun cause the kids got so into it. It was amazing to see how fast they would help with the dishes or clean up the basement if it meant they could watch the next movie.

 

Sledding with Catons, Poulsons, and Tripps up Big Cottonwood Canyon at Spruce Campground.

 

 

Lots scary moments taking the boys up to Brighton January 2nd. Coming down the canyon was sketchy. Luckily, Blake said a really good prayer and we made it back without incident. It ended up being the best ski day we have ever had and our first real experience with fresh Utah powder. It really is probably the best snow on earth.  :)

 

At the very top of Brighton. Our first run down "Great Western".

 

 

I am Robbie's videographer. He is starting to catch some pretty good air off the freestyle jumps.

 

Examining the map to find the next adventure with Blake following right behind with no fear.

 

 

 I even got six inches of air one time.

December happenings

Clara's first pigtail

Clara and Blake making their homemade gifts with (a lot of little) help from me--they made portable dollhouses with dolls to go with them for Hannah and Mia. Hallie made baton twirls for Ashley, RObbie made Brandon a Batman piggy bank out of a mason jar and Aubrie printed off one of her stories for Tyler. 

The Wasatch Waldorf kindergarten lantern walk.  Lantern walks are a part of their curriculum everywhere and it was SO enjoyable.  He made his own lantern and we all met and sang and then once it was dark we walked a designated path with our lanterns. 

Aubrie had it with Hallie's messy side of the room and she put it all in one spot. Boom...documented!

Ryan was out of town and we had FHE up the canyon with hot chocolate to go and see the "super moon" that wouldn't show up for 70 more years. 

Going on a walk together

Feeding the ducks with Blake and Clara before dropping Blake off for kindergarten

Clara and I went with the 7th grade class to the Tracy Aviary for their fieldtrip.  After we went over to the park to eat, play bacon bacon whos got the bacon and red rover.  it was SO much fun!

Becca, Tara and I went to see Sister Act at Hale Center Theater  and got dinner at Zupas beforehand.  It was such a fun night!

Ryan was at Russ' wedding in Portland OR when we needed to head down to TX for the reunion, so I did the drive to ALB with the kids on my own and we picked up Ryan there.  I was nervous about driving that far but it went really well.  The kids were on their best behavior.  

We stopped at Moab cafe and ate a huge breakfast on the way. 

We rushed to get to Aztec when it was still light so we could go to see Grandma and Grandpa's ranch.  The couple living there was home and let us look around and reminisce and even played with the kids for an hour or so until is was dark.  

Walking to "the dam"

Our first night in the hotel was the best experience thus far.  We all ate, then swam since we'd stopped early enough, everyone showered and got in bed, watched a few shows and we all went to bed at 9:00 together. 

First snowfall of the year

Our FHE of putting up all our CHristmas decorations

Robbie's class started Friday Math cooking lessons in December and I've been going in with Clara and Blake to help out. THis week was muffins and fruit salad

The choral and string Christmas concerts at the kids school. 

7th grade Choral concert--they all surrounded the atrium and sang to us.  the school was decorated so amazing--all very natural--even real Christmas trees!

Making our lanterns to go on our lantern walk--Jordans were in town that weekend

While Jordans were in town we had our annual Haynie Christmas caroling.  Wade even brought his trailer and we went in our neighborhood--mostly to some of the widows nearby

These two and their bubble baths...

Instructure Christmas party at the Olympic Oval

Christmas present errands--picking out cologne at Macys--and riding the escalator over and over. 

Robbie's state project and report

My first time skiing in 20 years I think. It was so much fun! Hallie and Blake were my buddies.

Dad catching a mouse (we had a month long mouse problem and we had to call in reinforcements)--these guys were making sure it didn't get away if Ryan missed it. 

Christmas cookies 

Reading Christmas stories by the tree before bed.  My favorite tradition I think.

Another Cooking Math day with Robbie's class--gingerbread ornaments and I taught them how to play "Soldier salute" a math game.  And that same day I went into Aub's class for their poetry unit and recited Jabberwock.  When I was done her teacher was like, "will you please do another one?" and I wished I had Rindercella memorized but I quickly remembered "once their was an elephant...". Whew. 

Robbie's teacher had this idea to help foster kindness in their class....the "Shout Out Wall".

Aub's class asked to have a dance and so once they had approval they did all the planning, decorating, food preparations, etc themselves.  I saw them doing all the refreshments in their kitchen.  So impressive.  I just happened to be at the school for something else so I stayed for about an hour to watch. 

Their live band and caller. 

We have done ALOT of sledding this month--probably 5 times I think. we all love it!

Jay's birthday dinner

First solo ski trip on the shuttle with Milo and Elliott

Our fancy Christmas eve dinner--Mexican food always.  I was too sick to make much so Ryan grabbed our traditional Chicken tortilla soup from Cafe Rio this year (maybe that should be a  new tradition--it was good!)

Our first year doing the Nativity together--i hope it becomes a tradition.  I was on the music, Aubrie helped with costumes and Ryan read Luke 2. It was a little crazy.

Hallie's gift to Robbie, she crocheted a "ball" and made a bat out of duct tape so Robbie can play baseball in the house and stop getting in trouble. 

Aubrie got giant sized deck of cards. 

Ryan gave me a trip to FL with the sistas and mom in March!!!

Skyping with CARA!!!

Christmas break fun:  building an igloo, 2-3 days of sledding (once up Big Cottonwood with Poulsens, Catons and Tripps), nerf gun wars/broom hockey at the church, Star Wars movie marathon, lots of playdates at our house, 3 ski days, Grandpa/Grandma and Wes came for a few days in route to Rexburg to drop Wes off for college--it's been so packed and so much fun!)