For weeks now I have just been "going to" download all our pictures that Ryan took at Thanksgiving with Curt/Lindsay and boys.

It might be tomorrow that it happens.

In the meantime, I have to remember that right now Aubrie LOVES a series called Warriors and she and Hallie like to play "Cats" where they are characters from this series and they have clan meetings, and secrets and lots of pretending.

Today I gave Hallie and Blake lunch before we brought Hallie to Kindergarten and she ate it quickly, jumped down from the table to go wash her hands and said "mom, that was DEEEElicious--just like fresh kill."  (huh?)  "You know, like for a cat, they love fresh kill".

We were picking up a few things at The Walmart today and Blake and Hallie, as usual, found something to play with and carried it around the store with them.  Before we walked up to check out we walked back over to the aisle to put it away and I was explaining why we were definitely NOT going to buy the toys.  They were flying their planes down the aisle and this older woman was coming the other way.  She stopped them and was just laughing and saying how cute they were.  "Where did you find those?" she asked them.  They showed her and she kept talking to them.  I finally told them we needed to leave and to say goodbye and started walking away.  She said to them,  "Wait, which ones do you want, choose one and I will buy it for you for Christmas. Go ahead, choose whichever one you want".   I am trying to tell her that she does NOT need to do that and she is just completely ignoring me and finally something just told me to stop and let her enjoy what she was doing.  She helped them pick out which one they wanted to buy and counted up how much it would be, gave a $10 bill to Blake and both Hallie and Blake gave her a huge hug (they were ecstatic!) and she told them she loved them and Merry Christmas.

After we wrung it up and I was telling the cashier (who was very touched actually) I gave the kids the change and told them to run back to that aisle and give her the change and tell her thank you again.  She told them to keep the change and Blake gave her a kiss.  It was so cute.

I felt my heart warm right up.  What a treat for today.

Every winter there has been at least one really long week of everyone in the family being really sick.  Nos toco esta semana :)     Ryan and Blake haven't gone down yet....hopefully they won't.  I had to document it though because of how much I slept in the last 24 hours.  I think I haven't slept that much in 15 years.    It's so miserable to not be able to get comfortable laying or sitting when that's all your body really wants to do, but I sure slept.  

After I dropped Hallie off at afternoon kindergarten, I put Blake down for a nap and grabbed the scissors and tape to wrap presents, walked into my room and put them right down, took off my shoes and climbed into bed because I just felt so miserable.  I slept till 2:40 when the bus came and Blake woke up.  I helped the kids a little bit when they got home and then sat on a chair from about 3:30-6:30 while intermittently running to the bathroom.  Ryan came home and I said hello and climbed back into bed and slept till 10:30.  I woke up for about an hour and sat on the couch with Ryan thinking I would never be able to go to sleep and fell asleep on the couch, Ryan walked me to bed and I slept until 8:30 this morning when he had to make it to a training he is doing.   I hope the worst is over for everyone.  Veremos....

November Snapshot

I love this picture.   Unfortunately Aubrie refused to get in it--or I would love it even more :)

I love to remember details and I really am not very good at it so although I don't do it near often enough, here is our self(selves) snapshot of November 2013

Ryan is working alot and still the EQ president in our ward (I think he'll remember those things later on:)).  He has been slowly easing back into all his running/basketball and will play in his first basketball game in the Bedford league on Monday night--10 months after his injury.  Its been a long slow process but he has really done so much with the physical therapy.   Ryan is playing the piano at our annual community Creche and Carols (3 year in a row).  He is doing a no sweets during the weekdays--he did it last year for most of the year and says he feels so much better.  He just gave a presentation on servant leadership to a large group at a leadership workshop and it was very good (at least what he shared with me the night before).

I am...well I guess I don't know what I really do.  I feel like life is a little bit overwhelming right now.  I don't feel 100% (maybe more of a 60% actually) and unfortunately with some hurting veins and a hurting back every day I feel slow.  I try to swim 3 times a week at the Y and that helps.   Lately I've been going to parent teacher conferences, library, helping kids with piano (not my favorite thing at all because it requires a lot of patience), chores and homework (my favorite thing) every afternoon, RS presidency meetings every once in awhile, lots of errands getting things ready for Christmas before November ends and trying to keep things organized I guess :)

Aubrie is 9 going on 13.  There have been quite a few times lately where she comes to check on me before she leaves or get me things or tell me to sit down and she'll do XYZ.  She can be such a sweetheart.  My favorite time with her lately was driving to activity days and the whole way thereshe wanted me to teach her how everything in the car works--she wanted to know everything so she'd be ready to drive.
She is a lover of reading.  I mean really truly.  Her teachers told me the other day that they have a private joke between them about how Aubrie is the first child in 22 years of teaching that he has to tell every once in awhile to stop reading.   She always, always, always has a book with her.  And consequently--from all that reading--she is an exceptional writer.  We really have been blown away with her writing.  She attends a writers group at school and they do most of it on Google Docs so we can see all of it too.   Her teacher tested her words per minute and he said she reads 187 words per minute which is faster than most adults.  Practice makes perfect i guess.  So that is a lot of her world--reading and writing.   Her teacher (have I mentioned how wonderful I think he is--he won NH teacher of the year this year and I am NOT surprised) is a HUGE advocate of chess.  He has 8 boards always set up in their class and they usually do that in their free time.  They also can spend one recess a week at chess club.  And most of the 4th grade shows up to play.  I wish I could say that would have been me but I know I wouldn't have gone.  Aubrie reads books about chess and has gotten really good.  Last night at Math and Literacy night she beat Ryan 3X in a row which was pretty amusing to me (and her teacher).    Our biggest struggle lately has been that Aubrie has tough skin so she can mean to her siblings with the things she says and is very independent and doesn't like to be told what to do.    Hard things for us with how old she acts.     We let her get her own gmail account 2 weeks ago and although she doesn't know she can email anyone (she things only those email addresses we've put into her contact list which is mostly family), it's been the best gift she's ever received.  She loves it.  and I think she emails both grandpas everyday.

Robbie is just a love of a love.  He is such a handsome boy. He is very, very sweet and loves to snuggle.   We actually just found out a little over a week ago that he has Lyme disease and luckily we are catching it early so with a LONG round of antibiotics it should be completely gone and not have any long term effects.  I am SO grateful we saw the bullseye ring on his face so that we caught it.  The doctor said that you only get one shot really to treat it and it has to be early.
Robbie is outside throwing a football in the air or a baseball against the house or riding his bike as much as possible.  When Ryan is home he is usually asking him to go outside and play baseball.  His teacher told me this week that he is very social at school and loves to make everyone laugh and that he is really good to stop all that and listen when he is supposed to.  Please bless that lasts for the next 9 years.  She said he is doing very well academically and that his reading fluency is off the charts (thanks to reading the BOM) Lately we have been trying to get him into reading every night before bed.  We finally found a "Captain Awesome" series that he is enjoying.   Robbie loves to tell on everyone.  He sometimes has a hard time sticking with something if it gets hard.  He loves his back scratched every night and is THE BEST. BIG. BROTHER to Blake.  He will help do anything for him.   He is starting to feel that anxiousness to be older and do things "like Aubrie gets to do all the fun stuff while Hallie and I go to bed" type things.

Hallie loves her teacher at school and loves to report all the things that she says and that other kids say and do and all the things they learned about and she is very dramatic when she does it.
She literally will talk to anyone--anywhere we are and usually what she says is not what you are expecting to come out of her mouth! She tries really hard to keep up with Aubrie and Robbie and all the older things they do and sometimes she's right there with them and sometimes they tease her (which always breaks my heart--I remember doing that to Syd when we were little and its sad-sad-sad).  Hallie has a really great imagination and loves to play with her animals with Aubrie and create all kinds of situations and scenarios. Most often when she is off by herself playing she is coloring and drawing--she has been making the alphabet in block letters alot.  She wants to pierce her ears pretty badly.  She just this past week learned how to really tie her shoes well. She wants to listen to Primary Pop every night as she is going to sleep and when she gets in bed she rolls over, puts her blanket over her head and is asleep in 2 minutes.

Blake loves to play/carry cars and cycer guys (motorcycles) with him everywhere.  It's by far his favorite pastime.  He is talking SO much and uses the word "actuawy (actually)" all the time in conversation.  He screams real loud if something doesn't go his way.  He can put on the saddest face and tears if need be.  He still takes a 2 hour nap every day after dropping Hallie off at school.  Most days we have a good 20-30 minutes to read and snuggle before he goes down and I really like that time alot.   Blake and Robbie actually play together more than I would think they would because of their age difference--usually involves cars of Robbie showing him a trick or something outside.    This fall his hair is turing reddish/brown going from the back to the front so I get asked if I highlight his hair quite a bit.  He loves to chew gum and asks me for a piece about 5 times a day.  He still loves pretzels more than anything else--although it is getting better because he is old enough to "have to" eat his meal in front of him.  He still sleeps in his crib (yea!!) There is one speed for Blake usually and that is running/jumping.  He doesn't walk very often.  He got kicked out of nursery a few weeks ago for the first time.  He is the only boy in there unfortunately. :)  He doesn't say I love you all the time like he used to, but he does freely give hugs and kisses.  He's not really a snuggler because he can't sit still for very long.  He has always and continues to call Robbie---Bob.  Always.

Today...

I feel excited that Curt and Lindsay and boys are coming to visit in TWO days.

I feel annoyed that my back still hurts everyday

I feel loved by Ryan--he is so good to me always

I feel glad that we finally got a new mattress for Robbie's bed

I feel grateful I got to talk to Anna and Sydney together for 45 whole minutes today

I feel a little worried that I am not handling motherhood as well as I should the last few weeks, mostly because Aubrie seems to be 13 already and I am clueless

I feel peaceful that our Christmas presents are ready--that has never happened this early

I feel happy that it's so beautiful outside--NH is a lovely place to live

I'm getting worked

by this #5 pregnancy.  I am not going to lie.  I don't know all the reasons for what is making the difference but I do know that there is definitely a difference.  :)

I ache like I am 39 weeks already (like I have a hard time getting off the couch or a bed).  My circulation and veins are having a party.  I feel like my hips have already widened like I am ready to give birth.  And as soon as nausea stopped, indigestion and heartburn picked right up.

And I am only 24 weeks along.

Okay, done complaining.

For today.

Monday morning the kids begged that we not have oatmeal and have something delicious instead since we had more time with it being Veteran's Day and no school.  So, I decided to make french toast.  Robbie is always the best helper--especially when it means he'll be eating (he is ALWAYS hungry) and as him and I are finishing getting the table ready he says:

"I just love it when it's like this" (Like what?) "It's really bright and sunny outside in the morning and we have the lights on in the kitchen and there are things all over our house (toys, newspapers, blankets--you name it) and we are having a good breakfast together and its warm inside"

I love it too Robbie.  

It made me feel so good inside, because what I think he was saying is that he likes to be in our house and our life here with the chaos and lots of talking (sometimes screaming) and laughing and getting to be a family with each other, is comfortable and it feels good. 

A little bit of our last few weeks

Ryan volunteered to go into Aubrie's Halloween pancake breakfast and help out since it was first thing in the morning.  He hasn't ever been able to do something like that so it was extra special.  His comment was "the kids are so quiet and good, I felt like i needed to stir things up a bit" :)  It's true, they run their school like a boarding school.   Aubrie thought that was pretty cool that Ryan got to go. 

Mr Buffett, Aub's teacher (and an AMAZING teacher at that)

Hallie is slightly obsessed with electronics--especially Ipods and Iphones.  Here is her new "phone", a banana runt from Halloween

All of Bedford has trick or treating from 6-8, so we went to a local neighborhood-less woodsy than ours.  

Aubrie was Harry Potter,  Robbie was Darth Vadar, Hallie was a ninja, and Blake was Spiderman.  We had so much fun going this year again.  I love the ages our kids are at.  Holidays are so MUCH fun.  We ended up at Chipotle first in our costumes for their $3 dinners on Halloween

I told Blake no more candy and 3 minutes later when I went looking for him this is where he was, under the covers at our bed. 

I just wanted to capture afternoons.  It's always a little bit of a stressful time to me, but a lot of interaction with the kids which I know I'll miss in a few years.  They have a chart and are supposed to have a snack, do homework, their 2 jobs, piano and unpack their backpacks/lunchboxes.  Some days are smoother than others.  

A few months ago Robbie skipped a rock in our driveway and shattered our van window.  It cost $350 to replace and we decided $50 of that was fair for him to pay.  It made me cry when we sat down to talk to him about it and he went down and got his piggy bank to give us all his money he'd been saving to buy a dirt bike.  That was very hard to watch--it hurt my heart.  Especially with Robbie since he is so sweet about things like that.  He has mowed the lawn every week and earned his extra $1 every week and finally 2 days ago finished paying for it.  I love that boy and I hope that it was a worthwhile lesson for him.

A few days ago I went and played outside with the kids for a few hours until it was dark.  I enjoyed it so much.  I loved playing soccer with Robbie and watching them interact and use their bodies and minds on their playset.  It made me feel a lot more alive inside. 

I have felt sick for the last few days and didn't get up to make breakfast this morning.  Aubrie and Robbie jumped right on that (because that means cold cereal) and when I came out I found these notes in my bowl.  I felt lucky to be their mom. 

Oh Hallie

Hallie is truly one of a kind.  She is a chatter with anyone and everyone and when they say "kids say the darndest thing", I am pretty sure it originated with her.   She picks up on everything anyone older than her says and she uses "encourages" and "actually" and "positively" type words on a regular basis.  She wants her ears pierced badly, she often carries a purse with her, and she wanted to be a ninja for Halloween.  She's a lot of fun.

This morning on the way to the YMCA she declared, "Well, I know what I am getting for Christmas.  An Ipad (they just started using them at school), a phone (a desperate wish for months), a horse and a Rainbow Loom."  

Me: "Hallie, my first phone was when I was 22, and dad and I still don't have an Ipad.  You are 5, and barely even play on the computer--why do you need your own computer." "I am pretty sure Santa will not be bringing an Ipad for Chrismtas"

Hallie: "yes, he is.  That is what I am getting for Christmas"  "I need my own computer"

Me: "Where will you keep your horse, they will run away without a fence"

Hallie: "We can block him in with the van and our wagon"

Me:  "He would jump over the rock wall way too easily"

Hallie:  "We'll build a big huge thing, all the way around the wall." Turning to Blake "Blake, you'll help me right".

Me: "And what about all the poop.  Horses are really big animals"

Hallie:  (thinking for a minute) "I'm going to need a shovel"


There might be some unmet expectations come Christmas.

CHAD AND ERIKA SULLIVAN!!!

We waited for this day for so long! (in so many ways).

and it was a perfect day. 

We decided to take the kids with us to AZ for the wedding and then we didn't tell them we were going to.  We ended up having to tell them that we were going to NYC for the weekend for Ryan's work conference, so when we got up that morning at 4:00 and sat them down on the couch and had them guess at what we were really doing--there was so much screaming and excitement.  It was so. much. fun.

None of them remembered being on an airplane since we have driven everywhere we go for the last few years. I'll sum up all of our flights (totaling 6 hours each way) by saying that the novelty never did wear off of being on a plane, that those around us really enjoyed the kids excitement of "being in the clouds", and it was a really fun part of the vacation. 

Last few minutes till we landed...finally in PHX!

Doxeys, Pratts and us all stayed at the Hatches for the entire trip.  There were 13 kids I think with Aubrie being the oldest by a few years.  All these little blonde people running around.  I loved watching it.  Hatches were so prepared for us all to be there and had lots of little fun things ready and made it so comfortable.  Luckily they have a large home :)

One of their neighbor friends is a fireman and brought his truck over and hosed them all down with 2500 gallons of water.  Highlight! 

Erika and Chad's wedding dinner on Friday night.  It was a perfect setting, perfect weather, full moon, Laura on the harp and Chad and Erika did a GREAT job MC'ing the night.  It was funny, tender, and helped us all to know them together a lot better.  We were really glad to be there. 

Saturday at 11:30, we all met at the Mesa Temple and Mariam and Emmaleigh watched all of our kids while all the adults went in for their sealing.  It was packed.  I love sealings. Every time.  One thing I want to remember that was said was that "a temple sealing moment opens the door to a temple marriage--those are created over a lifetime".   What an important thing to remember. 

Karla, Mariam, Amber, Erika, Emmaleigh, Laura, me and Chad Sully

Wedding reception (Erika and Mariam)

Leah, Doug, Amber, Syd and Paige Doxey 

My favorite picture at their reception.

Karen and Randy look perfect at the photo booth. 

Dave and Karla

Grandma and Karen

The reception was beautiful and the dancing was so much fun.  And thanks to all of the little cousins who initiated the dancing in the first place.   DJ Hooper was great :)

The kids and I stayed for a few days after everyone else left and hung out with the Hatches.  I was so glad we got to do that since we don't see them often and its never one on one.   And Laura and I were so wiped out by that point that we just hung out at home and at the playground and talked and laughed and shared.  (and didn't take pictures)  and it was so enjoyable.  Love you Chad & Laura!

Other favorite things: Girls Night out on Thursday to Zupas and then met at Erika's house to have a "relationship favorite thing" party with all the sisters and friends that had flown in. Lots of laughing!
Shopping with Amber and Karla, all three of us pregnant at the mall (good times).    Bahama Bucks with Doxeys, Hatches and us.  Making wedding favors late one night (Well it felt late to me with the time difference).  Meeting at Erika's after the wedding dinner to all be together for Erika and Chad to get father's blessings. Beckham Hatch's baby blessing on Sunday and luncheon afterward and then right before everyone took off to the airport on Sunday some of us met at Erika's to watch them open all their wedding presents and joke around the whole time.

It was so good to be there with everyone and see Erika and Chad be sealed to each other and see all their months of preparation pay off and be a really fabulous few days.  And we are still paying for all that not sleeping :)

Ryan's musings:

Erika and Chad’s Wedding (October 19, 2013) – Mesa, AZ

The sealing in the Mesa Temple was really special.  The room was packed and the sealer gave some great instruction about each of the covenants and promises made in the temple that all culminate with the sealing ordinance.  He said one thing that really stood out to me personally as well when reminding Chad (and all priesthood brethren in the room) that we had covenanted to obey the Law of the Lord and that our respective wives had covenanted to “hearken to the counsel of their husbands as they hearken to the counsel of the Father”.   If we do not ensure that the advice, counsel, and manner in which we act as fathers and husbands is in accordance with how Heavenly Father wants, our wives have no obligation to listen or to follow.   The comment made me think how often (especially lately) I am disciplining or getting after the kids without considering what Heavenly Father would want me to help them learn from the incident, comment, or action. 

After Chad and Erika were sealed, everyone was able to briefly greet Erika and Chad.  I will always have a snapshot in my head of when Amber Kay hugged Erika just in front of me.  I caught a glimpse of both of them with huge smiles on their faces together.  I hadn’t been emotional at all up to this point on the trip as I was so exhausted from the travels and the constant corralling of kids;  so, the emotions that started to build as I got closer to give Erika a hug in the sealing room really surprised me.  When Erika and I hugged, the tears started to build and then gushed and we hugged for several at least 20-30 seconds.  During that time, I had a flood of memories fly through my head and, in my mind’s eye, I could see Erika and I as kids playing together in the sandbox, riding bikes together, laughing together, staying up late doing homework together in high school, seeing Erika bear her testimony at youth temple trips and knowing as soon as I made eye contact with her that we would both start to cry, remembering our college days together, and finally the time my parents and I spent with her in Argentina at the end of her mission.   In essence, I caught a special reminder glimpse of how special Erika is to me and how close we have always been.  I also couldn’t help but think about Aubrie and Robbie and how I see them developing that same closeness as the two oldest siblings of the family and how I hope that their relationship will continue to grow with each other and with Heavenly Father until the day comes where they could share a similar embrace in the sealing room of the temple. 

After coming out of the temple and while we were waiting for Erika and Chad to come out, I pulled Aubrie aside and shared the above experience with her.  I told her how much I hoped that she and Robbie (and their other siblings) would be able to someday have that same hug in the temple when they are older and getting married.  She seemed to really understand how special it was and seemed to feel grateful that I shared a personal spiritual experience that I had had inside the temple just moments before.  It seemed to make the temple’s sacredness and focus on family even more real to Aubrie – at least, I hope it did because it definitely helped remind me of that.